Ask Amazing Grace: Holiday Drama

By Jeanine Grich Clontz | Faith

Nov 25

Ask Amazing Grace:  Holiday Drama

Q: My sister has been causing drama for the last 20 years.  Last year she told the family that she never wanted to talk with us again. Now she wants to celebrate the Holidays with us, as well as her birthday, using zoom. Although I welcome the idea, I’m fearful of her vicious attacks. Can you help me sort it out?

A:  My first concern is for you. Loving someone who lashes out is not easy. Plus, it is difficult not to take it personally. The anger that shoots its arrow, often stems from a person who is hurt, with feelings of self-hatred. Your solution is to find the balance between expressing the love given to you from God, while simultaneously not allowing yourself to be violated by your sister’s words or actions. The love you express can be a healing agent for you and your sister, as she may feel the love of God through you. 

It is essential that you do not make a decision based on guilt or obligation, but on God’s direction. A familiar Bible verse from James says:  the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere.

If your response coincides with the above verse, then you know you’re being directed by God, and will be kept out of harm’s way. You need not be a target for aggressive behavior. 

Create your boundaries ahead of any planned communication with your sister. Then relay them in a kind and confident manner. Let her know your parameters are for the purpose of a happy visit, which can include peaceful conversations and the length of the Zoom call.

In the meantime, continue praying for your sister’s freedom from the onslaught of critical and negative thoughts, which are always propelled by the carnal or mortal mind. If you go into the situation with Love guiding the way, you may find yourself enjoying a harmonious and compatible relationship. 

Jenny Grace Morris has a BA degree in social work, and added the most important element, God, as the ultimate healer. How could any difficulty be resolved without prayer for the right solutions?

Jenny Grace received her CCLC, MCLC, Stress Relief Coach© and Quasar Life Coach© certification, then developed the Relationship Communication Specialist© training and certification program in collaboration with Dr. Leelo Bush.

Jenny Grace has spoken at a variety of national, international and local conferences throughout the years. She especially loves uplifting others through her engaging presentations laced with stories from the Bible, making them highly relevant and interactive with contemporary subject matter.

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